If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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