How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
