i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
