he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
