Sry I called you an 8
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Can i not drive my cunt home
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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