hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
