NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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