I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
