Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
