Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
