i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Randomize
