I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize