Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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