If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
