Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
