bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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