The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
my liver is dry heaving
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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