I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
