i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
operation harelip BJ is a go
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
