I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize