smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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