Dual....:-)
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
