She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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