Whod you bang
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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