Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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