And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
