I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
