i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
