he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
