Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
