sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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