i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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