There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
