She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
