physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
