As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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