so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
