she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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