I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
