Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
