Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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