If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
