would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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