So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
