Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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