we're blogging at a bar
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize