I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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