this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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