Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
