No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize