remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Randomize
