when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize