names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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