ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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