u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
vagina is talking i cant
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
