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• (619): View more from California

  3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.

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• (805): View more from California

  Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.

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• (310): View more from California

  Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on

  (1-310): View more from California

  I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.

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• (858): View more from California

  Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?

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• (310): View more from California

  Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits

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