hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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