make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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