so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
