I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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