8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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