You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
