the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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