Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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