I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize