Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
