im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize